This particular feeling
by sunflower990
Summary: Kalluto was a used to enduring pain and tough training. She was a Zoldyck after all. But is she able to handle training with Feitan? Unknowingly their both feelings started slowly changing into something else they had never experienced.
1. Chapter 1

**Maybe I should have been writing Our story or some other story, but no. I wrote this story. Sorry people. So, some of you ****people maybe have seen in my Tumblr account, but if not, then you can read it here****!**

**Oh and if you are interested to know Kalluto age is 14 and Feitan is...Well, you can decide his age, as we have no idea how old he is. Or do we?**

**Kalluto is a girl in this too.**

**This is slight Feikalu! I just love two of them -/-**

**I don't own Hunter x hunter or any of these characters.**

**Sorry for this formal writing (U_U)**

* * *

Kalluto was struggling to stand up. She was tired. Dead tired. Her face and hands were all bruised and bloody. Her legs were shaking and she just wanted to lie down and sleep.

"I can't. I can't give up. Not yet." She said, repeating it like a mantra. She couldn't give up if she wanted to get her brother back. Only that though was able to stop her from getting crushed when realizing her massive inferiority to other members from Phantom Troupe. Only that.

"Are you already giving up?" Man said who was standing before her. Feitan. There was a slight mock in his voice as he continued; "I though you had more determination than that. Didn't you want me to help you as hard as I could? And now you're going to give so soon."

Kalluto bit her lips together, refusing to answer. She knew Feitan was trying to make her angry. It had been usual Feitan tried to make her loose her cool. Reason for that was unknown to her.

"This is no fun, if the whole training goes like this." Feitan muttered and watched Kalluto without making any signs of going to help her.

"I'm trying." Kalluto breathed and tried to stop herself from falling to ground, in vain. After few seconds she fell to the ground, gasping for breath and feeling her every muscle screaming from pain. Her torture training was nothing compared to training nen! And with Feitan of all people. She never was this exhausted when training with someone else or if she was, Kalluto was able to hide it. Feitan didn't show any mercy against her in training. That's why she asked him to help her.

"This is a waste of time," Feitan said and started walking away toward the center of the Meteor City, where half of the Spiders had came to defeat Chimera Ants that had tried to conquer the Meteor City, their home town.

Kalluto didn't say anything, only looked her bloody hands and the confetti papers that had scattered all over the ground. Not even one of them had successfully landed attack on Feitan. How could they have been? She hadn't even been able too see him moving.

"Am i really going to give up like this?" She asked herself. Did she really care her brother so little she was ready to give up the moment she was too tired? Hadn't she promised not to give up at nothing?

She had been so confused when her big brother escaped from home. She had been so worried about him. What would happen if Niisan would leave? But then he had came back. And all her worries had disappeared and replaced with feeling of relieve. She had been so glad Niisan had came back. So why didn't he stay at home after coming back? Why did he want to be his friends? He hadn't even said goodbye to her when he left.

"Killua-niisan, I won't stop. I am going to get you back. I'm not going to let you abandon me. I am your younger sister." She didn't want to give up on him. Even if her whole family did. She wanted to believe in him. Surely he would see her love to him when she would meet Killua-niisan again.

Killua-niisan…Kalluto though while ignoring her wounds, ignoring the pain she felt from her wounds and bruises, ignoring everything than only that though.

"Wait…"

Feitan stopped when she heard her say. Slowly he turned around, keen to see her begging help and promising to do anything if only he would help. What a disappointment to him when he saw her standing straight and looking him without any hints of begging.

"I can…still continue.." Kalluto almost whispered.

"Oho, continue? Are you sure? I'm not going to hold back like before if you want to continue." Feitan answered and unholstered his sword.

"It's okay. It wouldn't make sense if you hold yourself back. That won't make me stronger." Kalluto answered and showed her fan, ready to fight again.

"Alright then." Feitan smirked little.

* * *

Sun was already going down when they stopped training. The fight had ended just like they both knew. Feitan won, but Kalluto had finally successfully landed attack on him. She knew she was still to weak to defeat him, but at least Kalluto had been able to wound him.

"That's good enough for now…" Was her last though before she fell to ground, no matter how she tried to stop herself. She was just too tired.

Feitan, who was holding his hand, that Kalluto had been able to wound before getting knocked out by him. It hasn't been anything critical, Kalluto had been careful not to cut any limbs like she would have done, if it had been a real battle.

He was watching her. She looked completely exhausted and normally he would have just left her there, not bothering help, but this time, admittedly he had been surprised too, when he had decided to help her. Maybe because she looked so innocent when sleeping.

"Tch, can't you at least say something when you're hurt?" He muttered, while taking her up from the ground. She hadn't said a word when he hurt her, only her expression had showed she was hurting. How disappointing.

Kalluto slept the whole trip back to Meteor City, not waking up even once. She was dreaming of being back at home and Niisan was carrying her back to home after she had been bitten by poison snake. She hadn't been immune to poison yet when that had happened. That was the only time Killua-niisan had shown any concern over her. The only time he had showed any brotherly love to Kalluto…

She was aware someone was carrying her back to City, but she didn't have any energy left to wake up and walk herself. Instead she tried to say "thank you" but she wasn't sure if the person who was carrying her heard her.

Hopefully the person didn't think she owed anything.

Feitan sighed little when he heard her whisper soft thank you. This was not what he wanted to hear. He wanted to hear her shouting from pain and say his name.

"Oh well, maybe just this once." He though.

"You're welcome."

* * *

**So tell me what you like about, hate about it and all that :) And seriously tell me. Or you can PM me. Anything. Just simple "good story" is good. Okay, maybe bit more than that would be good. Sorry this demanding -_-**

**Especially PM if you are feitan and Kalluto fan!**


	2. Wounds

I** actually had planned to just write a one chapter to this, but after a nice reviewers asking me to put a continuation, how could I refuse? **

**And also I noticed that I made teeny, tiny mistake...Kalluto was still 10 years old, when the Phantom Troupe went to Meteor City to annihilate the Ants there and I changed her age from 10 to 14...So sorry for that -_-; Hopefully you can live with that **

**So here's a continuation! Hope you'll enjoy :)**

**I don't own Hunter x Hunter or any of these characters.**

* * *

She was hurting everywhere! Only one step and she just wanted to collapse to the ground. How pitiful. She was a youngest member of a Zoldyck family and member of a Phantom Troupe! She couldn't act like this!

Sighing she looked her hands. They were all red and bloody after yesterday's training. No training to her until after two days had Phinks said. She had gone too far last night.

"_What am I suppose to do now?" _She wondered. Her original plan had been to train the whole day, but now it was impossible.

"_It's frustrating to just stand and not able to do anything." _She though and narrowed her eyes angrily. After she had seen her comrades abilities she was even more determined to become stronger. They made her realize how weak she still was. How much she still lacked skill and experience...

Kalluto sighed. No use of thinking it. The only thing she could do right now was to become stronger and help other members of the Phantom Troupe. That was all.

"_But still..." _Kalluto turned around to face the Meteor City, dirty and huge place filled with nothing than garbage and people abandoned by society. "_This city sure is boring." _Even if she didn't complain it loud, nothing of interest had happened after their attack on the Chimera Ant castle. Sure, there were couple of ants always appearing now and again, but they were all weak and were easily exterminated.

Training was the only thing that was interesting...And now she had been taken that away too.

She could only stare down to the city, feeling the crisp wind in her skin.

"Are you bored?" Voice suddenly come from her left and she turned to look with quick wince, when she accidently hit her hands against together, to see Feitan looking down at her from the rusted car's roof.

Kalluto narrowed her eyes, making sure Feitan couldn't see her hands, before answering. "No, not really. I'm just little tired."

"Tired? Only after that little spar yesterday?" From someone else the sentence would have sounded like a mock, but it come out like question from Feitan. And that was infuriating to her. If only he would have sounded like he was mocking her, it would have been easier to suppress her wave of annoyance, but now she had to bit her teeth together from stopping to show her annoyance.

"_Don't let it get to me." _She told herself, taking a deep breath.

"That's right. But it's nothing I can handle."Kalluto turned away from him, checking that Feitan couldn't see her hands that had started bleeding again.

Feitan didn't say anything, didn't even let a sound, but Kalluto could feel him watching her. Had he figured out she was hiding her annoyance and wounds? But no. He only answered with short

"Really?" Before taking his leave.

Kalluto was relieved to see him leaving. She wanted no one to see how wounded she was. Kalluto had her pride.

"_Still..."_ She looked her hands that continued bleeding worriedly. "_I need to find some kind of medicine to these hands or else my training will get delayed even more." _Okay, maybe she was too ambitious. It would be only two days and then she could continue again...

But, then again, time was precious, wasn't it? She couldn't waste any moment of it.

"_But where am I suppose to get medicine?" _Kalluto wondered. This city didn't look like it had any stores for medicine or any hospitals. People here found everything they needed from different kinds of garbages and occasionally Phantom Troupe members would give them some of their trophies they could use for buying different kinds of ingredients and anything else useful.

"_I'll just wander around until I find something...Or else I'll just ask someone..."_

* * *

_"_What do you need these for?" Phinks asked in puzzlement while giving the medicine to Feitan. His left arm was completely healed now, and others wounds were too, so there wasn't really use to any medicine now.

Latter just shrugged and took the medicine. He wasn't quite sure either why he wanted to help her, but something bothered him to see her like that. Maybe because he was partially fault...No that wasn't the reason. He wasn't that kind of type to be guilty for wounding his comrades. Well, it's not like it was importand to think it so hard.

"No real reason." Feitan answered and started walking away, ignoring the curious look from Phinks.

"_Just what the hell is wrong with him..?" _Phinks though. Usually he could easily deduce his friend's moods, but even he was confused now. Was Feitan worried about someone? Nah, Feitan was not kind of person to think about welfare of his comrades that much.

Or so he though...

* * *

Feitan sighed to himself, half-angry at himself. He raised the medicine, looking it indifferently. It was suppose to increase the healing of the wounds pretty good.

"_Why am I even doing this?" _He asked himself, not even bothering to answer his own question. Technically he didn't have to do this. He could just throw the medicine away and act like he had never touch it. After all, he wasn't responsible for her. And she seemed to be determined to hide her wounds and bear it.

"_Tch. Well, whatever."_

* * *

The dawning sun spread its rays over the Meteor City, making everything glow in combination of orange and red. Kalluto was ignoring this beautiful scenery, focusing to keep herself straight and not collapsing to the ground. Even tough she had managed to find some bandages she was tired of the walking without stopping.

"_Now that I think about it...i'm not really sure if I even obeyed Phinks order."_ Kalluto realized, when she noticed her eyes starting to get little blurry. Just where had her usual stamina gone? She hadn't expected to be this tired. Well at least she was sure now Feitan hadn't gone easy on her. That's one good point.

Usually she could have forced herself to continue, but now Kalluto had to admit herself relucantly she was too tired. Maybe this was her punishment for pushing her limits?

"Maybe I should ask someone..." She muttered.

"Here." Again the voice spoke up suddenly, startling Kalluto, but she was able to hide her surprise and she turned too see the owner of the voice, already guessing who it was.

Feitan. He was holding some kind of medicine in his hands and he was staring down at Kalluto. Too late Kalluto realized her hands were in clear sight and Feitan could see how bad stage they were. She narrowed her eyes and hide her hands.

"What is it?" She asked, when she looked the medicine.

"It should help your hands." Feitan only said, settling down next to her.

So he had noticed! Kalluto had been sure she had hidden her hands completely. How could have he figured it out?

"How did you know?" Kalluto asked and took the medicine with quick bow. By now she decided not to hide her hands. What was the point if he knew how bad they were?

Feitan didn't answer, only shrugged and watched intently as Kalluto tried to unseal the medicine, trying to hide her pain. Her hands were pretty sore and it hurt to touch with them anything. Feitan sighed, somehow tiredly, and took the medicine away from Kalluto, who looked ashamed herself.

With a quick motion Feitan unsealed the medicine and took Kalluto's hand, not caring to ask permission. Kalluto blinked for this sudden gesture, but she didn't refuse. She could only have managed to spill the precious medicine all over the place.

They were both quiet for a while. Kalluto relishing how her wounded hands were slowly becoming better and weren't very sore anymore. The medicine was really good. She couldn't almost sense the pain anymore.

"Thank you," Kalluto said after her boths hands were treated and bandaged. She examined her hands while thanking Feitan, making sure they were alright and hiding her expression at the same time.

Feitan stood up, ignoring Kalluto's gratittude and looked away with displeased look. Yet again she thanked him. The exact opposite what he wanted to hear.

"Can't you ever say anything else?" He sighed, not realizing he spoke the words loud.

"Eh?" Kalluto turned her gaze away from her hands and glanced Feitan with confused look. "What am I suppose to say then?"

Feitan only looked her, not saying anything. Kalluto tried to keep his gaze, but after a while she turned away, looking even more confused than before. Her calm appearance cracked little bit, showing her confused expression.

Feitan eyes flashed, seemingly to be satisfield of that. He turned away and started walking away, to the direction where others were.

"We should go to others," Feitan only answered.

Kalluto narrowed her eyes before following him. Could it be he was mocking her?

Okay."

* * *

**Hmm...I maye will write third chapter to this at some point if guys like :/ I actually hadn't planned publish second chapter, but after all the reviews asking to put continuating I couldn't disappoint you :)**

**Hopefully you like it and tell me your thoughts ^_^ **


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